Signs Someone is Ghosting You

Ghosting doesn’t usually arrive like a slammed door. It’s quieter than that. One day you’re chatting, flirting, making plans… and then it’s like you’ve been muted.

If you’ve got that uneasy feeling that something’s off, you’re probably not imagining it. I’ve been there. You start replaying messages, wondering if you said the wrong thing, checking your phone more than you’d like to admit. The trick is staying calm, staying calibrated, and reading what’s in front of you.

It helps to remember what ghosting means in the real world: the communication doesn’t “end” with a clear message — it just fades into silence while you’re left to connect the dots.

Here are the most common signs someone is ghosting you — and what they typically look like in real life.

1) Replies go from normal to painfully slow

At first, you’re getting quick responses. Banter. Energy. Then suddenly… hours. Then a day. Then two.

The key isn’t a single late reply. People get busy. The sign is the pattern change with no explanation. If the vibe drops off a cliff and stays there, you’re not dealing with “busy”. You’re dealing with avoidance.

2) Their messages turn dry and low-effort

You’ll notice the shift in the texture of the conversation.

• You ask something with a bit of depth, they reply with “lol”

• You send something playful, they respond with a single emoji

• You suggest a plan, they say “maybe” and nothing else

When someone’s interested, they make it easy for you. When they’re fading out, they make it hard to keep the thread alive.

3) They stop asking you questions

Early on, someone who’s into you is curious. They want to know what you’re doing, how your day went, what you’re like in the real world.

If they stop asking anything about you — and you’re basically carrying the whole thing — it’s usually not going anywhere. A conversation can’t be a monologue forever.

4) Plans get dodged, delayed, or “forgotten”

This one’s big.

You say: “Let’s grab a drink this week.”
They say: “Yeah, that would be nice.”
Then… nothing.

Or you pick a day and they suddenly become vague:
“I’ll let you know.”
“Work’s mad right now.”
“Not sure yet.”

If someone wants to see you, they lock it in. If they’re ghosting, they keep you in a soft “maybe” zone so they don’t have to say no.

5) They’re active online but “can’t reply”

You’ll see them viewing stories, posting, liking things, appearing online… while your message sits there untouched.

I’m not saying you should obsessively monitor it. That’s not the play. But if the evidence is obvious, common sense applies: if someone can scroll, they can reply. They’re choosing not to.

6) They start leaving you on read regularly

A one-off “seen” is normal. Repeatedly being left on read is a message in itself.

When you notice a pattern like:

• read… no reply

• read… no reply

• then a random reply days later like nothing happened

That’s typically a slow fade, and it often ends in full ghosting.

7) They disappear right after things get more real

One of the clearest signs is timing.

Everything seems fine until:

• you suggest meeting

• you mention something slightly more serious

• you show a bit more interest

• you ask a straightforward question

Then they vanish.

Some people like attention and flirting, but when it turns into real-world momentum, they retreat. It’s not always personal. But it’s still your cue to stay grounded and not chase.

8) Their “life is hectic” becomes a permanent storyline

If someone always has a reason — stress, work, family drama, a busy week — and it never changes, it’s usually just a cover for low interest.

Busy doesn’t stop someone from sending a simple message. When you matter, you get a place in their day.

9) You feel anxious instead of confident

This is more internal, but it counts.

If you notice you’re:

• checking your phone a lot

• rewriting texts

• feeling like you’re “bothering” them

• trying to be extra funny/cool/low-maintenance to keep them around

That’s often your instincts reacting to inconsistency. A healthy connection feels steady. Ghosting energy feels like walking on eggshells.

10) They reappear randomly with no acknowledgement

This is the classic “zombie” move.

They disappear for days or weeks, then pop back up with:
“Hey you”
“Been busy”
“What you up to?”

No explanation. No accountability. Just a casual return, like you’re meant to be available whenever they feel like it.

That’s not confusion. That’s convenience — and yes, it happens both ways, but plenty of the time girls ghost guys because it feels easier than having an honest “not feeling it” chat.

11) Your messages become the only thing driving contact

Look back at the last 10 interactions. Who started them?

If it’s basically all you, that’s a sign you’re pushing something forward that they’re letting drift. Interest is obvious when it’s mutual.

12) You’ve lowered your standards just to keep it going

This one stings, but it’s important.

If you catch yourself thinking:
“I’ll accept late replies.”
“I’ll be chill about the flaking.”
“I won’t mention it, I don’t want to seem needy.”

That’s you adapting to poor behaviour to avoid losing the connection. And the more you do that, the more you train yourself to tolerate less.

What I do when I spot these signs

When I see a few of these stacking up, I don’t spiral and I don’t blow up their phone. I get simple and direct — a clean ghosting response that keeps my self-control intact.

A calm, calibrated message beats a long emotional paragraph every time. Something like:

• “All good if you’re not feeling it — just let me know.”

• “Seems like you’ve gone quiet. I’ll leave it there.”

Then I stop pushing. If they come back with real effort, fine. If not, I move on with my dignity intact.

The mindset that keeps you in control

Here’s the truth: ghosting is rarely about one perfect message you should’ve sent. It’s usually about their level of interest, their emotional maturity, or them keeping options open.

Your job isn’t to decode every detail. Your job is to notice patterns, use common sense, and stay centred.

If you’re seeing multiple signs someone is ghosting you, the best move is usually the same: don’t chase, don’t beg, and don’t try to “win” them back. Let silence do the sorting.